Saisei
by Aenasuu
Summary: I hadn't expected to be reborn. Death was the end - I wasn't opposed to it. But now I've been given this second chance, you better believe I'll make the most of it - maybe try to right the wrongs, fight the good fight. SI/OC. Will not be strictly canon. Like at all.


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p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"strongspan style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';"A/N: To anybody who read Saisei before 02/10/2014 I've changed a few things. Like I said in one of my other notes, I realized I was writing a 5-10k words a chapter story at a 1.5k words a chapter pace -not good, to say the least ^_^. I promise I'll try to update frequently now, but like with everything, life always finds a way to get in the way :/. Also, reviews are welcome, as this is my first attempt at a semi-serious fic that I've actually uploaded. You can suggest or question all you want, just no flames please. And finally, thanks for reading my fic 3./span/strong/p  
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p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"My death was rather anti-climactic. Sudden. It was a simple collision, a stupid one that shouldn't have happened but for my own impatience, but I can't say dying was exactly unwelcome. It's hard to describe death. You don't exactly emfeel,/em you just emare./em It's incredibly tranquil and I don't think I would've minded remaining in that state forever, conscious of nothing but my own thoughts, completely at peace with no disturbance. Unfortunately, or fortunately if I'm looking at it from my now point of view, fate had other things in store for me./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I first awoke in what could only be described as a hospital. White, sanitary surfaces, nurses and a doctor. I was too shocked really to process any of the information and merely lay there quietly uttering nothing at all - they must have thought I died, or something. I did eventually come out of my stupor, and that was when I was greeted with the smells and sounds. The language was strange and I didn't really recognise it but it sounded vaguely like Japanese to my ears. The smells? Well, first I smelt blood, and quite a bit of it, and the general hospital smells that I find it hard to describe./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I still didn't know where I was. When I first moved my head I swear I heard someone breathe a sigh of relief – they must have actually thought something was wrong with me, and unusually silent child. When I first looked around the room the first thing that pulled at my attention was the people – they were all, I don't know how to describe, embeautiful, /emnot flawed. That wasn't the thing that shocked me. For all I knew, I could be waking in up in heaven, and heaven is a place full of angels right? The thing that really gripped me and startled me was their head-bands or, more correctly emhitai-ate/em, of course I didn't recognise exactly emwhat/em they were or what they meant./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"Overall, shortly after my birth, I was in shock still, but strangely – happy. I was a peace. I'd been born again in this world full of beautiful people to live a life with loving parents and the childhood I'd always dreamed about from my bed, glancing up at the moon. I'd always loved the moon. Something seemed so peaceful about it, I don't know really, but suffice to say I could have looked at it for all of my life. It held an eerie, yet comforting, beauty. Alien, almost./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I guess that's enough about my birth though./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"Now my name is Isamo Maname and I'm glad to be here. In Konoha. My first observation, about the beautiful people, that was true. It was actually difficult to find an ugly person – welcome I suppose. I'm no different, a cute kid, I guess - but it seems incredibly vain to care about my looks so early in my life. But I had been an adult woman in the past, so I allowed myself that small vanity. My hair was a shade of purple-blue, like mums, and my face, also like mums, was almost what you'd describe as regal – you know high cheekbones, defined. Mum was definitely happy about that – she teases dad whenever she gets the chance, my eyes though, I got those from dad; grey-blue and stormy. I like my eyes though – they almost remind me of when I'd be looking at the grey clouds in the sky. Don't ask me why, but I liked the grey, stormy clouds much more than the white fluffy ones that made shapes that everyone else liked to gaze at./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I liked my childhood. At least so far, at three years of age. Sitting with mum as she reads me fairy tales – well I guess not really equivalent to the ones I had read back then. Some of them could well be true, chakra could seem like magic to an outside observer. I also loved it when mum took me to park, hand-in-hand and pushed me on the swings up and down. I didn't really interact with dad that much, he's an active shinobi, so I wouldn't expect him to have time after long missions. But when he's not doing missions, in the garden with me and mum, he sometimes throws his kunai at the tree idly, grinning when I showed my excitement. Mum didn't like of course. She always tells him not do his 'show-off ninja antics' around me./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I was emreally/em glad I was part of a ninja family. I knew, deep down, that I wanted to be a part of the action than goes on in the series, even if my memory of it isn't so great. I'm not expecting it to be exactly the same though./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I was startled out of my reverie./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Isamo, Dinner!"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I loved my mother's voice. A weird thing to love about her sure, but she was always so full of joy, so kind, compassionate, and you could tell it from her voice. I'm truly blessed to have the kind of parents I have, that much is true./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Isamo, you know you're more intelligent than most people your age, right?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"Mum's tone was very careful. I myself had been careful, or I thought I had, at making myself have the normal behaviours of a kid my age. I was four, almost five./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Hai."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Do you want to do something more… Challenging?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I considered my answer. I knew what she was going to ask me – the academy. I know that if I said no, I could just live out my remaining childhood in peace. It was incredibly early to start going. Well, by 2 or 3 years. I'm not dumb though. I could feel the undercurrents of violence, war, and ninja life even in my sheltered childhood – and that's why I wanted to go now rather than later. A head start couldn't hurt./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Hai. I know you're thinking of the academy, but I can't help but be a bit apprehensive about it."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Isa, you're worrying too much. You have more than enough raw talent to go early, you're our child after all."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"My father's gentle voice surprised me. He was usually content to let my mum talk to me. It was there though, the reassurance I needed./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I smiled slightly. "Thanks, tou-san."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I'm not sure whose idea this was, though. Mum had usually been apprehensive of me doing anything ninja-like. She was protective, that's for sure, but I loved her for it. Dearly./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"Her voice came out steady. "Then it's decided. You will join the next class."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"She didn't offer a smile or anything, really, and her voice was neutral./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I won't disappoint you. I promise". My own voice was as steady and certain as hers was even if I wasn't so confident inside. Why? Because I goddamn meant it. I wasn't going to disappoint my parents, who loved me dearly, my two most precious people. I'd rather die./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I never doubt you musume." My mother was smiling now too and I think she could recognise the conviction in my voice./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I was happy about it, I think. I'd no doubt be nervous, like I had in my first life, for my first day at school, or the ninja academy as it were. The situations weren't exactly transferable though. The ninja academy was a place where I will learn many things, but at the end of the day all of the ninja arts boil down to one thing. Killing. I was going to have to prepare myself. I'd certainly never killed before, and it wasn't going to be even harder for me, with my conditioning in my previous life, killing being one of the greatest sins. But I would persevere. I would do anything for my parents, their recognition, respect, their love. They are all I need. It was with those thoughts in my head that I slept./span/p  
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p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I've fucked up. Oh my god, I've fucked up. Seriously, really emreally /embadly. Everyone is going to die, everything going to be destroyed and it's all my fault and I can't do anything and I'm a useless fuck. I forgot. I don't know how I forgot. As soon as I felt that chakra, that horrible, emsickening/em chakra I knew – immediately, I knew. I knew I fucked up. I knew there was nothing I could do. But most of all I was confused – how could I forget such an important event? The thing is, when I try to remember emanything,/emanything at all emspecific/em about the series, or the manga, or anything I just, I don't know – blank./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I'm so scared. Mum didn't tell me much, other than to go to the shelter, and now I'm here with all the other kids, who are all sobbing, some shivering in fear. They were the ones who could emfeel it/em, the chakra, I mean./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I traced my finger across the wood beam and then back to my side. My head hurt – the amount of emotions, anger, worry, confusion buzzing around in my head, I probably should have passed out by now. I cursed myself for my weakness. Here I was, safe – relatively at least, in the shelter while mum and dad were out there risking their lives for the sake of the village - and for me. They were both strong jounin in their own rights, but that didn't reassure me; if anything, the Hokage would probably put the strongest ninja in the front, hoping to minimize losses. My mum was in the reserves though so she shouldn't be in much risk right? Sure they would put the reserves farther back just to add support, because they weren't active and completely fit. My dad was an active shinobi. It was him who was likely to die. I forced myself to stop shaking – they'd promised me./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I promise you I'll be back. Nothing will stop me, musume." Mum's voice had been calm and soft, trying to comfort a sobbing girl./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""B-but what about tou-san?" A momentary pause./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""He – he'd say the same I'm sure of it. Nothing will go wrong." She'd been visibly less sure when she said that though – I couldn't help but worry. Somehow I knew that something bad was bound to happen. God, or fate, or whatever wasn't going to let me keep my happiness; he'd done a bad enough job in my former life anyway./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I replayed the conversation over in my head and each time I couldn't make it sound more comforting. I emwanted /emwith a passion for their survival – I yearned, prayed did everything I could. Crack. The noise was extremely loud – my heart beat a little faster. The sounds had been stronger for a while now, but I didn't fear for myself. I was out of the way. They were the ones trying to contain and defeat the strongest bijuu, while simultaneously not releasing any destructive techniques for fear of harming anything or anyone in the village. I forced a small smile at that thought – Konoha shinobi has always been noble./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"Nothing should change. Minato – the Hokage – was still alive, and the seal should still be able to be made. I couldn't help but feel sadness. I knew the outcome after all. Naruto's parents would die, and he'd be left alone, abused by the village with no friends in sight. My existence makes absolutely strongno/strong difference to the outcome of the Kyuubi attack and I knowing that I couldn't help feeling a little guilty. I should have at least emtried/em to tell someone – but who am I kidding. They weren't going to listen to me, a five year old kid – intelligent for a kid of course, but still a kid. Even if I asked for a Yamanaka they'd probably find things I didn't want them to know, and I'd experience memories I wanted to forget./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I couldn't do shit, though. But it seems my body had a will of its own. I emfainted/em./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I didn't want to wake up. Whatever news they had for me it was bound to be fucking depressing. But with like many things in life, you don't always get what you want. I woke up and the first thing I could see was – nothing. I was still in the shelter, and everyone else was long gone. Unsteadily, I brought myself to my feet and surveyed the shelter; it was damaged slightly, but apart from that the only visible thing was some mess from temporary habitation./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"Tentative, I stepped outside. I winced and hissed. The sunlight was sharp and somewhat disturbing, considering the stormy nights we'd had for a week leading up to the – the Kyuubi attack. As I looked around, the devastation wasn't the thing that saddened me – it was the people; the utter despair in some of their eyes, their broken spirits, their shell shocked posture – slumped and stiff. I held back a tear./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I walked through the streets slowly, fearing what I'd see when I got home. I walked past the last bend. The house was still intact – that had to be good news, right? So why did that thought seem so false to me? I walked hesitantly up to the outside gate, tracing my hand across the metal. Softly, I opened it, walked through, and closed it again. I walked up to the door, repeating the same process as before, my hand lingering on the handle. I was tentative – like an explorer entering a particularly dark and foreboding cave. But this was my home – it was emwrong/em so terribly emwrong/em to think of it like that./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"Slowly, I walked into the front room – If someone was going to be here that's where they'd be. But what I saw, I hadn't expected. Dad was there, lying on the sofa, multiple bottles of sake on the floor next to him staring hollowly at the wall. This was wrong something was terribly emwrong./em/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Dad?" His eyes flashed to look at me./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Where's mum? Dad?" I was beginning to feel very afraid the same anxiety I had the day before in the shelter. The silence invaded the room, lingering moving over us, a malevolent spirit. As fast as it had come, it left. It felt like it'd been there for longer./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"He seemed to register the question. "Honey, your mother she's. She's not here anymore."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""W-what?" My own voice carried my fear. "She's… dead?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Yes." He said finally./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"It was like the strings holding me up had been cut. I collapsed, almost violently. Tears leaked from eyes and my mouth didn't open. I don't know how long I stayed in that state – kneeling, with on hand over my eyes, and one on the floor. The cold hard floor that used to be cool and comforting after a warm night./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""S-she promised me - said nothing could stop her." I whispered this desperately. My face pale and my breathing fast./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""It wasn't meant to be like this." He half-whispered his own words, clutching his bottle to his chest. His words were hollow, pathetic, offering no comfort./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""We were meant to be a big happy family. You growing up to be a great ninja, having a family of your own, us living peacefully and dying in a bed surrounded by loved ones." His voice was calm and monotone, his face locked up in reminiscence, a slight smile on his face./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""But it's not. That's the point. It's not and there's strongemnothing/em/strong we can do, we're damned. She should be fucking here, she promised she'd be here." I said in a harsh whisper, venomous words filling my mouth. I was fucking angry – I needed to fight, to kill, I needed to act, I needed- I needed my mother./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"Just as sudden as my dad had started to smile he stopped and allowed an ugly grimace to cover his face. "Things never work out how we want them to, not exactly."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"We remained there, for I'm not sure how long, in my half kneeling position clawing at my face, and him on the sofa drowning his sorrows in dirt cheap sake. If my mother could see us now…/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"She'd always told us to be happy. To enjoy our lives and be happy for what we had – a happy family amongst a large and peaceful village. I couldn't help but feel that I was failing her. She would've wanted me to be strong for Dad, and myself, not dwelling over her loss. We remained there, sat in the room both of us consumed by our own miseries and waging war with our own personal demons. Something told me that now the gates are open, I would be forever fighting mental demons of some kind. The thought didn't disturb me as much as it should have. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""It's time we talked." I blinked. Dad hadn't talked in like forever – although I wasn't surprised by that. Just by looking at them you could they had something truly special – Mum and Dad, that is./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Yes?" I said slowly, making sure to keep my voice even./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""You're going to get better, right?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"Dad stayed silent for a while. "I don't know." He pulled himself into a sitting position, and patted the spot beside him. I took my seat./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I want to tell you about your mother."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Go on." I was excited, somewhat. Neither of my parents had talked to me about their pasts./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"He paused for a small interval, composing himself. "When we first met, we were on different teams. I never talked to her much, really, but she was always smiling – happy." He allowed himself a smile of his own./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""She was considered somewhat of a prodigy. I was as well. She was ahead of her time though. Where other kunoichi would specialise in medical jutsu, or support – genjutsu and the like, she specialised in front line combat."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I was also different. Where other shinobi specialised in assassination or front line fighting, I specialised differently – genjutsu, and my own personal brand of techniques. We had that in common."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Surely there were others like you. Right?" My heart was racing. My parents never really liked to talk about being ninja or what it pertained, although they wanted me to be one also, or at least I think they did./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""No. We were truly unique." He coughed and grimaced slightly./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Could you open the window, Isamo?" I jumped to his command./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Thank you."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""The first time we actually emmet/em – talked to each other, was at the chunin exams. I was injured, lying in the forest, the rest of my team missing."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""What about your team? Can you tell me about them?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"His eyes were far away. "Sure."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"He cleared his throat carefully. "Like every other Konoha genin team I had a sensei, and two other genin team mates."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I never knew what to make of Noto. He was an Aburame, through and through I guess." He allowed himself a slight grin./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I never got to know him much. Mitsuya though, I knew her very well." I was surprised at that./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""You were..?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"A look of horror flashed across his face. "Oh no no, not like that."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""She was like a sister to me, Matsuya."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Is she..?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""No. She's gone too. Like your mother." He said this in a bitter tone. I doubted I'd get anything more out of him, at least about Matsuya./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""What about your sensei?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"He smiled again. "I adored my sensei. Her name was Izumi Seiko, and she was like me. A specialist in support I mean. But she's gone now too. Like your mother." A pained grimace materialised. He didn't want to talk about them anymore. I wasn't going to force him either - no way, it was a miracle we he was talking to me at all considering…/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""What about the exams, and Mum?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""When she first saw me, lying in a pile of leaves, I thought she was an angel. You have to understand Isamo, every red-blooded male in the village probably crushed on her at some point, well except for her sensei, but I'm pretty sure he was celibate or something."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""She was confused, but she ended up knocking me out and dragging me back to the start for healing - from that day I was forever in her debt." His tone was quieter, and flush with remembrance./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""She didn't have to do that you see; by doing saving my life and dragging me back to the start she forfeited the exam. A lesser person would have left me to die."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""After the exams I didn't see her for quite a while."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I'd become a chunin by that time – the normal way; a lot of missions and border patrols."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I saw her crying by the memorial stone. I didn't want to intrude; but I recognised her and wanted to offer at least some comfort. She must have appreciated it though, because things snowballed from there and we ended up spending more and more time together." He was really smiling now, his eyes shining with love./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I'd took an apprentice at that time – chunin can do that you know – and eventually me and your mother passed the jounin exams. Together."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""We were extremely happy. Eventually we ended up marrying – the ceremony was short but sweet."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"His smile faded slowly, and the atmosphere in the room changed, his happiness and reminiscence no longer providing illumination. The silence stretched for a while, and his eyes were still far away./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I shifted awkwardly. "Your apprentice, are they still…?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Yes." He responded shortly./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Why didn't you ever introduce us?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""She was never happy when I stopped her training, in favour of starting this family." He didn't seem angry, just bitter./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""What was her name?" I asked this softly. I didn't want to pry too much, but I felt like this was something I needed to know./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"He spoke again, after what seemed like an age. "Kurenai. Kurenai Yuuhi."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"There was one more question I needed answering though. "Why are you telling me all of this? About your past?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""It's the least I can do for you."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"After a while, the silence came back into the room and reigned over its sombre kingdom./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I was happy he'd told me all of this. He'd undoubtedly given me the watered down version – but I felt like I understood him better now; why he was so broken. Mum had truly been his last emtruly/em precious person – for him drinking buddies didn't count./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"When my head finally hit my pillow, I cried. I cried for Dad's precious people, and I wept for him. Things could never be the same, now Mum's gone./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I awoke the next morning to the sounds of the birdsong. A sweet sound, an innocent sound, to be sure. I made my way down the stairs carefully – I didn't want to wake up Dad after all. I quietly made myself breakfast humming one of the tunes mum used to sing. I already missed her, and I knew that this dull ache in my heart would remain. Mum wouldn't have wanted us to linger on her death. She'd always been smiling, laughing, finding joy in the smallest things; she'd want us both to do the same./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I was worried for my father though. He'd already lost so many people dear to him that I feared he would break; and if he broke then I feared for myself. I might have another lifetime of experience dealing with loss, but my first parents had never really been emparents/em, only caretakers who didn't really want me. Alcoholics who lived for their drink./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I opened the door with trepidation. I wanted to help with the recovery effort somehow, after all of the ninja had fought to save the village and its occupants, like me. However I was physically just a five year old girl. Granted, slightly tall for a five year old, and using advanced language, but still a five year old./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I didn't really know exactly where I'd go, so I walked through the stone streets, to a familiar place – the market square. The walk was rather eye-opening. People weren't quite as heart-broken and despairing as the day before, they were holding it in, like me, and trying to help with the reconstruction efforts./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"When I finally arrived at the square, it was bustling with activity. People were walking around, struggling with burdens, groups of men carrying heavy planks, stones, or panes of glass. I noticed the desk where people were lining up – was that where they were volunteering? I walked over and joined the queue./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"Eventually the haggard looking ninja turned his eyes on me./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Aren't you a little young to be here." His tone was blunt. Harshly so./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Shinobi-san I really want to give emsomething/em back, even if it is something small and inconsequential." His face seemed to soften at that. Perhaps it was my sincerity./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Even so, I'm not sure if we have anything you could do, little one." His tone was tired. Over-worked, I'm sure. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""There is something. She could help in the tents." The woman to his side had her hands on the desk, and looked at me calculatingly. I wasn't going to back down from the challenge./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Are you sure she's ready – she's a little young right?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""That's for her to decide."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""It's nothing to bad. I can handle a little blood." I said this as calmly as I could./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"The woman grinned, and with that my fate was sealed. For this day, at least./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman';" /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I smiled. I don't know how to describe this feeling, but it felt good that I was actually emdoing/em something, helping as much as I can. When I'd gone to the hospital they'd set me straight to the tents outside. The system was actually well organised; the badly injured were in the hospital, where it was cleaner and had more staff working, whereas people recovering from smaller injuries, or bad chakra exhaustion, were in the tents. I wasn't doing all that much – just helping with food, beds and general care. The nurses had been sceptical at first, but they seemed to relax around me and trust me to do the job after a few hours. It was nice being trusted to do something – even if it was a minor thing that was inconsequential in the grand scheme of a hidden village./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"It was near the end of my hours – every volunteer were given an option of the hours they worked – I chose seven, after all I was a five year physically. I was nearing the end now, a few more minutes. I was exhausted. The bell emitted its dull ring – the signal of the hour passing. I walked back out of the tents, smiling at the injured who were awake, until I was back out where the organisers were./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I'm done now miss." I tried to make myself as quiet and unobtrusive as possible./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"She raised an eyebrow. "You actually stayed and worked?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Yes."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"She smiled slightly. "Maybe there is hope for the new generation after all. Are you a ninja child?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Yes."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Who are your parents?" She seemed genuinely curious./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""My mother's name was Otani Maname." I reckoned she'd recognise my mother's name more than my dad's./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"She blinked. "Did she start you on chakra control?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Yes."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""What level?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""She said it was good for my age."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"She smiled. "She must have meant it then. Despite her jubilance, she never gave out praise easily."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"She beckoned me closer. "Here, take this."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I took it. It appeared to be a scroll of some sort. Probably a medical technique./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""It's a basic diagnosis technique. See if you can make progress with it."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"And with that she waved me away. I thought about her as I walked away, slowly. Who was she? Why did she know my mother? I still hadn't gotten over my mother's loss. I doubted I ever would – I had loved her too much to ever forget, or let go. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"It didn't take me very long to get home. The streets weren't very congested and I knew where I wanted to go. I did the familiar routine; through the gate and opening the door. I made my way to the front room, where Dad was. He hadn't really moved out of there – at least that I knew./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Dad?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"He snapped from his trance. "Where have you been?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I've been helping out in the hospital." I said, somewhat guilty./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"He quirked his eyebrow, and smiled very slightly. "Good. Keep at it."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I was hesitant – would he help me with the scroll? It was worth a shot, anyway./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""The organiser, she gave me this scroll. Can you help me with it?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"He looked at me for a while. "Medical techniques are almost all about your control, and control is more about focus than anything else. Don't allow yourself to become distracted – emotionally or physically, and use the semi-meditation techniques your mother taught you."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"He looked away from me, and back out the window, before closing his eyes. It seemed that was all I'd get out of him, at least for today. I resolved to get starting learning the technique before sleeping. It was a basic technique, so I might be able to learn it in a morning and a night. If I was lucky./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I climbed onto my bed and settled into the familiar position that mum had instilled in me – legs tucked and crossed evenly and arms on the ground, also spaced out evenly. I closed my eyes and reached for my chakra. It's hard to really explain how you do it so I guess I'll just forgo an explanation. What I can explain though, is the giddy feeling you get when you access chakra in this way, it fills you suddenly and fully, in all parts of your body, and gives you this nice, warm feeling. A relaxed smile set itself upon my face. Slowly, like the scroll described, I took my hands up off of the ground and formed them slowly into the hand seals. There weren't many for this technique – 3 in total, but it was basic. After I'd formed the seals, I gathered some chakra and slowly sent it down through my arm to my hand. I held it for a few seconds, making sure it wasn't going to dissipate – it had a habit of doing that when your control slipped. I slowly pressed my hand to my chest and waited. This part of the technique didn't require to do anything – the chakra was meant to travel around a body before returning to your body and giving you an almost x-ray esque map of the body – although much easier to understand. In theory./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I waited for the chakra to return. I got it back, and I could feel an almost map beginning to form before it faded. I frowned. Had I not used enough chakra? Those were the questions I'd have to answer tomorrow though./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I checked the time. I had 2 hours left to try and get the technique down. I ran quietly back up to my room and assumed my familiar position. This time I put much more chakra into the technique, and as I pushed it slowly into my hand it dissipated. Fuck. Something told me I'd be here for the whole two hours./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I've managed to get it down somewhat – but I don't know exactly what I'm looking at. It's almost like a really rough x-ray style view of the body – you can see the bones – but it's all green. Not blue. Green. I wasn't quite sure what that meant. My two hours were up, so I made my way back to the tents as fast as I could. I didn't want to be late./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"The same organiser was there as yesterday – that was welcome./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I'm here to help again, miss." I made my tone as deferential as possible – that was definitely becoming a habit. Not a bad one though. You never wanted to piss of a ninja./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Hours?"/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Seven."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"She finished noting down whatever it was they had to put./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""How are you getting on with that technique, by the way?" I could tell by her eyes she was curious./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I think I've got it down, but I don't really comprehend what I'm looking at very well." The truth./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"She blinked. "In a single day. I guess you really are your mother's child – after you're done I'll give you a book on anatomy."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I don't want to sound rude, but why are you giving me these?" She had to have some ulterior motive./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"She paused before responding somewhat despondently. "Konoha has always undervalued medical nin, and it shows. I knew your mother - she was extremely talented and I know that you could be a very good med-nin if you wanted to be." Her tone was frank and sincere./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I considered what she was saying. I really wanted to follow the paths of my parents, and combine what they had, but I knew that having some medical knowledge could go a long way./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I don't know exactly how I'll specialise, or even if I want to specialise. But I promise to at least get to an adequate field medic level."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"She looked at me calculatingly. "You're extremely mature and intelligent for a five year old." She wasn't accusing me or anything, but definitely inquisitive./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I chose to say nothing more, and she waved me through./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"_/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"It took me a little longer to get home – regular village activity was starting to be restored. My mind was far from calm though – I was still overwhelmed from the recent events, mum's death and all. I hoped my father would recover – although I hadn't been as close with him as I had been with mum, he had been a pillar of support and love all the same. It wasn't often you would see his resolve destroyed and his eyes lacking their usual fire. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I found my way back through the door, to hear my father's voice./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Isa, c-come in please." He spoke in a low rasp. I could barely hear his voice./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I entered the front room slowly, fearing what I'd see. From the outside he appeared fine, normal, his dark brown hair sticking to his forehead, and his stormy eyes heavy – but he did not appear to be ill, or injured. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"He patted next to him. "Come. Sit." His voice was firm now, but I could tell he was expending effort to keep it that way./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"He spoke again after a few gargantuan seconds. "There's something I need to tell you." He brought up his hand to shade his eyes./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""I guess there's no easy way to start." He began. "I'm dying."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I couldn't believe my ears. He couldn't leave me alone, not now, and yet my heart rate began to climb./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;""Don't mess with me tou-san, you're fine."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"My father studied his hands. "There's a catch with my techniques Isa. They give me great power, but also at a great cost."/span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"A tear rolled down his cheek. "I used them too much. By tomorrow, I will be dead. I'm sorry Isa." He turned his head to the side./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"I collapsed to the floor – I couldn't believe this was happening, not again. I love my parents, I love them so damn much, but it seems that fate was determined to get its sadistic pleasure. I assumed the same position as before – barely kneeling, tears falling to the ground silently. /span/p  
p class="MsoNormal"span style="font-size: 13.5pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif;"Nothing could ever be the same again./span/p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p  
p class="MsoNormal" /p 


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